Regrets?

I wonder what are the things that I will regret.

People say you should live to never regret anything but in fairness that's just bullshit. You just can't look back on everything bad that happened and say well i don't regret anything. I get that you learn stuff from this kinda thing but surely if we had the option to erase it and do something different we would?

Well I think I would anyway. Although I have to say thinking about it there isn't that much that I regret. Plus hindsight is a great thing. If only you could have seen at the time what was really going on. But then that's not to say you hadn't good reason to think you knew what was going on at the time.

What do I regret. I regret letting my first relationship go on for so long when it was so bad.
I regret moving in with the cultish crowd last year. Because I could excuse it if I learned anything from it, but I didn't. Well the thoughts that they're all idiotic children was just re-inforced, so not really like I learned anything. Was moreso just proved right.

I wonder do most of our regrets come from things that didn't work out. And that if they had would we not regret them? Because then that's just a matter of chance really. Most of the time it seems these types of things are down to other people, and how they react, which you can't help. So why would you regret it? hmmmmmm.

So now I'm thinking what will i regret in five years time? I'd like to be able to predict it. It's likely to be either that I wasted so much time on mick, or that I didn't just go to him and say we can start over. and just get over everything. Of course if things really were to go the way i'd like i wouldn't be regretting either. But time has taught me better than this. Because he doesn't want me. I realise that now. And what I don't want (again) is to regret putting myself in a position where someone else can reject me after spending so long trying to make a half decent relationship with security and love.

I think that at some time I will regret having spent so much time worrying about everything. I know now that it's not good, and completely pointless, and it makes me physically unwell between my IBS and panic attacks, but it's a way of life, and it's not that easy just to stop. I'm learning. Just very slowly. At a tortoises pace.